Life in the Glass House
A real marriage in a public life.
We've been married since 1993 and in full-time ministry for thirty years. For most of that time, people have watched how we talk to each other, how we raised our kids, and whether our home matched our sermons. Some of that attention was fair, and some of it wasn't.
Along the way we've learned a good deal about honesty, boundaries, and keeping a marriage healthy when a lot of people have opinions about it. This is where we share what we've learned and what we're still working out.
Our story
Pastors, parents, and still learning
We lead Hope Church in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. For about twenty years we've also served as marriage enrichment coordinators for our church organization, which has put us in the room with a lot of couples, many of them serving in ministry themselves.
We don't have a perfect marriage, and we raised real kids, not sermon illustrations. What we do have is a long record of working at it in front of people, and a few things we'd tell anyone who asked.
Marriage & family
The subjects we come back to most
Marriage in ministry
Criticism that follows you home, a calendar that belongs to everyone, and the expectation that your marriage will be an example. How to stay on the same side through it.
Boundaries that protect your family
Transparency doesn't mean everyone gets a key to the house. Deciding ahead of time what you'll share and what stays at home.
Launching kids into adulthood
The goal was never children who needed us forever. It was adults who could make good decisions without us in the room.
Marriage through changing seasons
Young parents, busy pastors, empty nesters, grandparents. A good marriage keeps adjusting as life changes around it.
Our first book
Guardrail Parenting
Every parent lives between two fears: holding on too tight, or letting go too soon. We raised our four kids on a different idea. Give them a real road to travel, and line it with sturdy, loving guardrails that move as they grow.
It's available now in paperback and on Kindle, and the audiobook is coming soon.
Hosted by Danielle
My Favorite Things
For eleven years, Danielle has hosted a Friday night out for women. There are gifts and prizes, and there's honest conversation about the books, podcasts, routines, and products she loves, along with subjects women don't always get to talk about openly, like perimenopause, menopause, and pregnancy.
Our daughter Sadie joins her with the perspective of a newly married 24-year-old who owns a business and works as a professional trainer. The same weekend, Danielle sponsors a holiday market for women-owned businesses.
Speaking & events
Invite us to speak
We speak together and individually at marriage retreats, couples' conferences, parenting events, and church gatherings. Danielle speaks to women's groups. Joe also teaches seminars for small church pastors and leads AI workshops for business and ministry teams, in person and online.
Notes from the Glass House
Our monthly letter
Once a month, from both of us: a short reflection on marriage or family, what we're reading, and news about books and events.
Also from Joe & Danielle
Where else to find us
- GuardrailParents.com
The home of our book, with resources for parents.
- The Pastor's Workbench
Joe's online community of practical help for small church pastors.
- Anointed Algorithm
Joe's book for pastors on using AI while staying Spirit-led.
- JoeCook.me
Joe's speaking, consulting, and professional background.
- JoeCookAI.com
Joe's AI consulting for businesses and organizations: knowledge bases, systems, and training.
- The Pastor's Workbench on Substack
Joe's articles for small church pastors.
- The Pastor's Workbench on YouTube
Short teaching videos for pastors.